So last week, doubtless at the behest of its new Italian parent, Dodge quietly killed the Caliber SRT4. And today, none other than a 2009 Dodge Caliber SRT4 landed in my driveway. Perfect timing.

Now I'm 40 years old, not 22, so I confess I feel a little silly driving a Dodge Caliber with 19-inch wheels and a tacked-on boost gauge. But I like the SRT4 in spite of myself. I like the way it looks and I like the way it drives. And I don’t think my affection for it is entirely misplaced, either (like, say, my fairly indefensible fondness for the Renault Le Car and the diesel-powered Volvo 240). The top Caliber is quick, for one thing, and fast, too: Sixty miles per hour arrives in less than six seconds and the SRT folks claim the car is drag-limited to 155 mph. (I’m willing to take their word for it.) That’s pretty respectable performance, I’d say, for a car that rolls for $25,470. (Owners are likely giggling right now, as they doubtless took their cars home for far, far less than that.)

Probably the Caliber SRT4’s biggest shortcoming was its timing. It succeeded the Neon SRT-4, a car that defied its econobox trappings with pretty sensational — and utterly unexpected — speed. It was an unmitigated hoot to drive, noisy and headstrong. When the Neon SRT-4 won a four-way shootout back in 2003, Joe DeMatio wrote that it possessed "...a very well-tuned chassis, one helluva powertrain, and the ability to blow everything else at its price point into the wild mustard." Before you could gripe about its appallingly flimsy switchgear or hard plastic trim, the engine would head-butt you into your seat and make you forget why it was you felt the urge to complain in the first place. Part of the fun of the Neon SRT-4 was its defiant crudeness. It was fast and furious and utterly unpretentious. The Caliber SRT4, in contrast, comes off a bit precious. Not satisfied to be merely fast and affordable, it wants to be cool, too. And it just isn't.

I’m sure I’ll take heat from Saab fans for this, but the Caliber SRT4 reminds me of a 9-3 Viggen I drove back in 2001. The Dodge approximates the Saab’s tallish profile and upright, kitchen chair-like seating position. And the Caliber’s 285-horsepower, turbocharged 2.4-liter in-line four has a lot in common, personality-wise, with the Viggen’s 230-horsepower, turbocharged 2.3-liter four, namely the tendency to go from good citizen to coke-snorting lunatic in an instant. Now, when you’re in the mood for it, this kind of Jekyll/Hyde business is a riot; when you’re not — which, for the sake of your driver’s license, should be most of the time — it’s tiresome.

So like the Neon SRT-4 before it, and the Omni GLH before that, the short-lived Caliber SRT4 is off to the great beyond. It's a small shame, really. Dodge has dramatically upgraded the interior of the Caliber for 2010, and a dose of refinement might've done wonders for the SRT4's showroom appeal.
Oh well.