No bargain with the devil.
Mephistopheles: What’s with the Nissan Versa? You could’ve spent the week testing a Corvette or something.
Me: I like small cars. The design is interesting.
Mephistopheles: That hood looks like a Studebaker pickup. They should’ve just called it the Spoonbill. There’s so much blackout on the rear glass, you’d think it was London during the Blitz.
Me: To hide the rear pillars.
Mephistopheles: There’s nothing remotely sporty about the Versa.
Me: It has a six-speed manual transmission.
Mephistopheles: Sure. The throws between gears are so long, it’s like an outfielder hitting the cutoff man. And the gearing itself is so short, 70 mph is achieved around 3250 rpm. Kind of breathy!
Me: It has a 122-hp engine.
Mephistopheles: Without variable-valve timing—hardly the most refined power. And it’s a torsion-bar rear suspension.
Me: Typical in this class.
Mephistopheles: Did you use the cargo area?
Me: We carried a stack of magazines and newspapers to the recycling drop-off, along with two tall bags of yard waste.
Mephistopheles: How’d you like the rear cargo cover?
Me: That pull-out blind is a pain.
Mephistopheles: Interior fit and finish?
Me: Pretty good. For the money, this isn’t a bad car. There’s tons of backseat room.
Mephistopheles: Next thing, you’ll be extolling the safety features.
Mephistopheles: What’s the number-one selling point?
Me: The everyday low price: $14,005 as tested.
Mephistopheles: Overall impression?
Me: It’s practical, nicely made, and all right to drive, but for another $2500 or so, the Honda Fit Sport is way more fun.
Mephistopheles: Alas, your soul won’t be mine. But I’m sending a Toyota Yaris S your way. I think you’ll love it.